Shatter
by caxo76
Summary: It was the end of an era. Maybe Babe-y...
1. Chapter 1

AN: Yadda yadda yadda, not mine etc etc etc...Get it? Got it? Good.

Shatter

caxo76

Ch.1

"Jesus Cupcake, not another one. That's your third on this month! I don't know how much more of this I can handle." Joe stated as he stared at yet another burning piece of metal which used to be my car. I was beginning to see why Joe needed Rolaids, my stomach was just rolling at the sight another close call.

I, Stephanie Plum, have no car-ma whatsoever. I blame it on that hunk of Cuban ass, aka Ranger. He has nothing but good car-ma. Secretly, I think he has my share of good car-ma, but I never get close enough to the man to have it rub off. Call it self preservation. I have a fear of self combusting whenever that man is near. _MMMMMM....rubbing..._

"Stephanie? Are you even listening to what I am saying?" Joe's sharp tone brought me back to reality. Damn, the dream world was so much better.

"Uh, sorry Joe. It's been a rough week, and my brain is on the fritz, you know how it goes." I shrugged my shoulders in an effort to shake off the unnerving feeling that another fight about my job was on its way.

"Unfortunately I do know how it goes, _babe._"

Wait.

What did he just call me?

"Um, excuse me Joe? What did you just call me?" Oh no he didn't go there. He just sashesn here all high and "I'm Supercop" mighty, forgets to ask if I am okay then knocks Ranger? In all of our years together, or not, he obviously hasn't learned anything. But that thought really didn't sober me from hitting warp 1 in rhino mode.

"You heard me. You get your car blown up from doing a skip for _him, _ he comes to your rescue, you yell at me, you go home with him and the next day he gives you a new car as if nothing happens. What exactly do you do with him that night that gets you a new car for the next day? Huh?"

Whatthefuck? Was he insinuating that I sleep with Ranger just to get a car? Does he even know how many cars I have blown up? Holy hot flash, if only that were the case.

And this is where Stupid Stephanie remained drooling at the idea of sleeping with Ranger for cars, and Smart Stephanie (finally!) took action in the form of a stiff right hand across the face of Morelli.

"What the hell Cupcake?" He said staggering back, holding his cheek.

"You just called me a whore!"

"No I didn't! I just sai--"

"I heard what you said! I don't remember ever saying anything about you working with Terry!"

"That's different!"

"Bullshit! I at least have enough decency not to call you names!"

"You call me pigheaded all the time!"

"That's because you are, and I am not a whore! How could you even say that to me!" I was screaming in his face, and could see out of the corner of my eye that everyone was watching us have this useless argument all over again.

Joe sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"You're right, I shouldn't have said that. And I'm sorry, but I'm just so frustrated Steph, we're not going anywhere except in circles. Don't you see what this is doing to us?"

"See what?"

"Your job. It's tearing us apart. Does that not matter to you at all?" His words stung, partially because they were true, but we were still at _me_ being the one to have to change. Either way, it was going to screw me over no matter what I answered with.

It was time to be truthful. I took a deep breath.

"Sometimes it does Joe, sometimes when I have bad days, I do wish that I could quit, and be normal, and do all the things that others want me to do to be happy. But then I realize that I am doing it to make them happy and not me."

"I don't think you have tried hard enough."

"What are you talking about? I married the Dick to be domestic and look what happened there? I have no interest in cooking, don't know if I want kids and the idea of getting married again scares the pants off of me! I think moving in with you to suburbia showed you that I was at least willing to try!"

"That's not what I mean." Oh oh, tingle tingle at the back of my neck, and I knew exactly what Joe meant. He wanted me to give up Ranger. I didn't know if I could do that.

"We tried this before he came along and it didn't work!"

"Cupcake, you just need to try, just to change a few thin---"

There was that word again, change. I held my hand up.

"Joe, do you love me?"

He looked at me as if I had grown horns. "Of course I do, why would you ask me that?"

"Because, when you love someone, and want to be with them, you accept them and love them for who they are, despite their faults. You love them regardless of what happens to them and where they have come from. You don't love them to change them, you don't marry someone to change them, you love them because in that moment, they are everything that you want and need them to be. " Sometime during my rant I realized that I was not longer talking about Joe and I, but instead I was talking about Ranger.

I felt the tingle again, and looked up to see him slowly making his way over, as if to give us the time and space to finish whatever had been started.

I held his eyes and continued on.

"You may not like everything about them, but they come to you as a whole package. Not bits and pieces to pick apart. I have been picked apart my whole life, and I need someone there to keep me together."

Joe cleared his throat as he followed my gaze. Realizing I had been caught, I blushed and looked at the ground.

"Cupcake...I..." he sighed " You know I love you, I just never realized that it wasn't the love that you needed. I...I...I'm not here to crush you, I would never mean to do that intentionally. I guess, I never knew you felt that way about him."

"Huh?"

"Come on, Steph, we both know you weren't referring to me."

"But – I just, I -"

His eyes softened.

"I guess this is the end of an era, huh Cupcake?"

I nodded as tears slowly began to fill my eyes.

Another throat cleared, and I felt a warm hand on my back.

"Babe?"

Ah, the infamous word that has two million meanings.

"Well, I guess you couldn't been in better hands Cupcake...I'll see you around."

The comforting hand began to make a circular motion, slowly calming me down.

"You okay?" he asked drawing me to his chest.

His smell alone almost left me bawling again. It hurt to be around him, it hurt to be held by him, and to smell him, and to love him.

My heart was bursting and it had nowhere to go.

"I just want to go home."


	2. Chapter 2

The drive back to my apartment was quiet. Ranger was in his zen mode, and my mind was going 90 miles an hour, as usual. Normally the silence made me uncomfortable, but tonight it was soothing, and allowed me the time to organize my thoughts. Who knew that I could actually do that?

Unfortunately when I allow myself to pull my head out of my ass and think, reality hits me. Bummer.

This evening had been exhausting. My car blowing up, police interviews, Joe and I fighting, Joe and I breaking up, and me now on my way home to be alone.

Alone.

I was truly broken-up, off the hook, alone and the thought terrified me. Was I one of _those_ girls who couldn't be without a boyfriend? That I needed someone around me constantly? I let my mind wander back in time to see if I had established that kind of an unhealthy pattern, you know me, full of unhealthy things.

And the answer surprised me.

It was no.

No I did not have an unhealthy pattern. Unbelieveable. Maybe with Joe, but that's because I was just using him.

Wait.

What?

I was just _using him? _

Fuck. I was. We didn't really have an established relationship when Ranger came along. We were just kind fuck buddies. And then _Ranger...mmmmm...._ I just threw myself at Joe, to make Ranger jealous? I don't know. Oh yes, yes I do. I was so deathly afraid of being rejected by my Henry Higgins that I didn't everything to protect myself, even if it meant stringing Joe along the way.

It was easier to settle into a comfortable existence with someone who didn't make me ache, or hurt, or burst or any of those emotions that I was feeling.

It was easier to feel comfortable and safe, then to put my heart on the line.

But in the process, what I was avoiding, I had done to Joe.

Mental sigh. We were going to have to have another chat on of these days so I could apologize for my sorry state of a human being.

"Babe, I can smell something burning." I looked up startled out of my thoughts. We were in the parking lot of the apartment,right next to the front door.

"Unfuckingbelieveable" I muttered as he helped me out of my seat.

He raised his eye brow at me.

"You and your car-ma, hogging it all for the rest."

He just shook his head, and gently led me towards the lobby.

"Let's get you upstairs. It's been quite a day."

Psh, that was the understatement of the year.

You'd think after this point, being at rock bottom and all, that it could only go up from here. Boy was I wrong, and you know why? Because sometime between the lobby and my apartment, I got this hair-brained idea to finally tell Ranger how I feel. I figured at the least he would feel sorry for me after the day I have had and I would at least get some Hot Cuban Ass.

Why do I always come up with the worst ideas whenever I am around him?

I swear its like my brain goes on vacation.

Ugh.

He held me back as we made our way to the door of the apartment, he swept in, mentally clearing my space. His actions made me feel that my decision to tell him was right. He was constantly doing things that showed me he cared.

I waited until he had closed the door behind him, and made his way back to the kitchen where I was waiting with some beer.

He watched me as I downed the whole beer at the same time I uncapped and passed him his. Oops, that was a dead giveaway. Real smooth.

"Liquid courage babe?"

Here goes nothing.

"Ranger, I love you."


	3. Chapter 3

He just stared at me, as if I had just shot him in the foot. I wasn't sure if it was surprise or shock, but this definatly wasn't playing out as it had in my mind for so many nights.

He was supposed to drop his blank face, rush over to me, profess his declaration of love and then boohya! Time for a party of the pants! Mmmmmm....

The phone ringing interrupted that line of thought, saving me momentarily from embarrassment, as I was most likely drooling.

We continued the stare off until the machine picked up and Morelli's washed over the room.

"Hey Cupcake, listen, I'm sorry for taking off on you there like that. I just thought I would let you know that if you need anything don't hesitate to call me, I love you and let's go out for dinner this week, with no strings attached."

The message was nice, I understood that he was trying to bridge the gap created by our breakup, and to be honest, I didn't want to lose him from my life completely, but the whole "I love you and let's go out for dinner" couldn't have happened at a worser time.

Ranger's eyes flashed as he slowly stalked over to me.

Gulp. Where was that other damn beer?

"Are you having a dry spell Babe?" He asked, as he stood over me. His smell engulfing me and forcing me to close my eyes.

"Wh-wha-what?"

"Morelli not putting out?" What the hell was he talking about?

"Um, we broke up." He raised his eyes at me. "For good."

"When?" he growled. This was _so _ not working out as planned! Why aren't his lips on mine!??

"J-just after my car b-blew up."

Ranger stepped back and I watched him pace in my kitchen, his fists clenching and unclenching. What was going on?

"So, you just thought it convienentt to tell me you loved me just after you break up with Morelli?" he snarled. "Can't stand the idea of being by yourself?" yourself

Woah. Why is Batman pissed?

"What the hell is your problem Ranger? It's not exactly easy to tell someone you love them! The least you could do is let me down gently instead of getting mad at me because my timing sucks! It's not like I can choose who I love!"

"You obviously can."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I could feel the rhino mode beginning, followed closely by some tears.

"It's his bed you are in, not mine!" he shouted, throwing his arms out.

"He gave me what I thought I needed, which was more then you!" Excellent plan Stephanie, piss him off even more. You are so going to Iran in a suitcase.

"Which was what? Stuffing you into a mould?"

"I'm not someone who is good for just a quick fuck! I'm not like that, I need to be held, I need to feel wanted, desired, more then a toy, or an item to be pursued, and I deserve to be loved for all that I am!"

"And you think he gave you that?" he scoffed.

"NO! Which is why we broke up! I need someone to help me fly. Foolishly I thought it was you, stupidly I forgot about the whole "my love comes with a condom not a ring" and "I don't do relationships"! " I felt like smacking my forehead. I definatly didn't think this through. "I deserve to be more then a quick fuck Ranger, and you know that."

He stalked over to me, pressed against me chest to chest, pushed me against the counter , oh hell yea! and growled in my ear.

"You'd think I'd give you cars worth hundreds of thousands, manpower, technology, money, do you think I'd kill for you if you were just a fuck? "

"Then what's the problem?" Why the hell can't he get to the point, I get it he cares, but how much? Where's the damn beer?

"You can't just....tell someone you love them, you have to show them, you have to commit yourself to them, and judging by your answering machine, you can't do that to me, ever. I have given you EVERYTHING, and gotten nothing in return. This is too little too late."

"Wha-?"

"It's just a cycle Stephanie. He will win you back, you will go to him, you just don't want to be alone. I put on the pressure, and you run away. "

" No, I swe-"

He leaned in real close, so much so I could feel his heart beating quickly, and his breath on my ear.

"I have loved you through hell and back and I have given you all I had to give. There is nothing left. I can't play this game anymore. I need more." He stepped back, and moved towards the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.

"Goodbye Stephanie." and like that, he was gone.

The roaring of the engine in the parking lot ripped my heart out of my chest, the screeching of tires left me shattered on the kitchen floor.


	4. Chapter 4

I'd like to say he realized his mistake and came screeching back to me, but it didn't happen that way. It _never_ seems to happen the way I plan out in my head. Maybe that's my hint that I should stop being so spontaeaous and actually begin to think things through.

What was I going to do?

No Joe, and no Batman. My heart clenched at the thought, but my eyes refused to cry. I had ran out of tears, and was probably going to drown somebody with the puddle I had created below my fire escape.

My cell rang, I looked down. Tank.

I cleared my throat, okay, cool and collected, be cool and collected. Think zen, like Ranger. FUCK, I didn't mean to think that, now I'm going to cry again.

"Uh, hello?"

"Are you alright Steph? What happened? Ranger just came ripping in here, throwing out commands. Fuck, he put me in charge of Rangeman Trenton and said to never expect him to be back. I – I don't know what to think."

"Ugh, he, um, he left here."

"Yes, I know that." Oh yea, right, the trackers.

" Um, I kinda told him I loved him."

I heard a breath of air whoosh out of Tank. "Oh thank God you finally did that. You both needed to get your heads out of your asses. But why is he so pissed? You'd thinking he'd be sending you a bouquet of roses, and not banning you from the office."

You'd think, wait, what?

"HE WHAT?"

"Fuck, Steph. I'm sorry, what the hell happened?"

"Um, well, Morelli kinda called in the middle of it, and said that he loved me and wanted to take me out for dinner."

"Damn, Steph, are you still playing two guys?" I heard the disappointment in his voice.

"NO! Joe and I broke up, it was coming, we all knew it. Then he phoned, and now Ranger thinks that we're getting back together and that I'm just rebounding and that I don't really – sob – love him." I started bawling again into the phone.

I heard fighting over the phone, then Lester came on.

"Hey Beautiful, are you okay?" I sobbed into the phone. He swore under his breath.

"Fuck the bossman Tank, I'm going over there. She's our girl too." I heard more muttering in the back ground.

"Steph, are you still there?" Lester asked.

"Yes" Sniff.

"Tank and I will be right over there. Bossman had better thank his lucky stars that he's on a plane to Miami, I have every ounce of me wanting to follow him there and beat him to a pulp."

"Lester." Tank warned.

"Oh can it. Get your shit together, I'm leaving. We'll see you soon Beautiful." and he hung up.

I was left sitting on the fire escape, listening to the dial tone when the black SUV pulled up.


	5. Chapter 5

I sat there shivering outside my bedroom, frog in my throat as two large sets of hands dragged me in through the window and covered me up with the blanket from my bed.

"Jesus Steph, you're going to catch your death out there if you keep doing that." Muttered Lester.

I merely shrugged. That might not be a bad idea.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, if I ever here anything like that come out of your mouth again I am going to throw you over my knee and spank you – come to think of it, I'm tempted to do it right now."

"Lester! Enough!" Tank warned. " Now Steph, do you really love our asshole of a boss?"

I nodded.

"Are you on a rebound?"

I shook my head no.

"I'd like to fuckin' get my hands on him." Lester mumbled, forming a fist with his hands.

"Lester, that ain't going to solve shit, so lay off."

I just sat there listening, like a bug on a rug. Focusing on the intricate patterns of my blanket.

"Hellllooooo, earth to Steph." I looked up, Lester and Tank were both staring at me.

"What?"

"Do you love bossman to the ends of the earth and back despite his shortfalls etc, etc, etc?" Lester asked.

"What is this, a marriage ceremony?" I snapped back.

"Just answer the question Bombshell."

"Fine." I huffed.

"Fine what?"

"YES. I LOVE HIM TO THE END OF THE EARTH AND BACK ETC ETC ETC." God, you'd think they were deaf.

"Heard that" they said in unison.

"Men."

"Heard that too."

"So? What are you staring at me like that for?"

"Ever heard the saying payback's a bitch?"

I snorted. " Ha, a few times from the man in black himself."

"Well?"

"Well what? God, can't you guys say any more then one word at a time?"

"No." They answered again.

Ha ha, regular comics sitting here in my bedroom.

Lester spoke up. "What we mean Bombshell is do you want to go after Batman and put him in a position where he has to listen to you without running away?"

That sounded like a brilliant idea! I nodded along.

"But how? He'll have that building on Steph lockdown too, and once he sees me there's nothing stopping him from taking off."

"Oh, where there's a will, there's a way." Tank answered wisely.

Huh?

" It's called training Beautiful, in the art of lock picking, security breaching, martial arts and most of all, Batman butt kicking." Lester explained with a shit eating grin on his face.

"And it starts tomorrow, bright an early."


	6. Chapter 6

The days dragged by slowly. Especially when it starts at 5 am, even more so with a 5 mile run. I'd have to admit though that the dawn is beautiful, at least in the idea of the day starting anew. But slap the running shoes on and that dream goes quickly down the drain. Even Lester with no shirt on couldn't seem to motivate me enough to push past the 5 mile marker.

I breezed through the lock picking courses pushed upon me by Tank, and was slowly improving on the gun range. I was almost okay with carrying my gun.

Hey, I said _almost._

Each day they encouraged me to pick myself up again, and that no matter what they were proud of me. It was nice to not feel like a total failure. Kind of made me wonder why I didn't do this sooner.

But still, I went home alone, and it was then when I truly did feel alone.

I would spend it sitting on the fire escape, watching the sun go down, and aching that another day had ended without him. Without hearing the "_Proud of you Babe." _

Lester and Tank had assured me that the motivation to improve myself to "irresistible" status, would slowly help the ache dull until it was time to put their plan into action.

Yes, I said their plan. It wasn't quite "our" plan, as I still had no idea what the plan was besides somehow trapping Batman so he would have to listen to me.

I still snorted at the absurdity of the idea.

Thursday rolled around, marking the month anniversary of Ranger's departure. It was also the date in which Lester and Tank decided to grace me with their presence and fill me in on the plan.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bombshell, you busy right now?"

"Nope Les, just finished feeding the beast."

We both laughed.

"As if you can completely satisfy that thing."

Ha ha. Not. It's a seriously expensive habit.

"Is there a point to this phone call?"

"Woah, calm down Beautiful. Tank and I were wondering if we could hop over to your place for a bit. We have some things we want to discuss with you in regards to the plan."

"Ha, like telling me _exactly_ what the plan was?" You'd think it in the Rangeman contract to always fail to explain anything.

"No, but it's more fun this way. You wouldn't have gone along with it had we told you." Geeze, do all these guys have ESP?

"No, you just keep talking to yourself, and I can hear you." Lester chuckled.

"Fine, come over."

"Alrighty, see you in 10." and he hung up, another contractual agreement, crappy phone manners.

True to his word, 10 minutes later Tank and Lester walked in.

I don't even know why I bother to buy a key for the place. No one ever uses it. I might as well take the door off too.

"Earth to Steph.." Tank called out from the kitchen. "When you're done musing, could you please make your way over here? We have some things to discuss."

Smartass.

I walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks. There spread all over my table were rolls of paper, some still tied up and many spread out like fall leaves.

"Wha-what's all this?" I managed to stammer out. I was getting this sense of foreboding like I really didn't want to know.

"This Bombshell, is the blueprints to Rangeman Enterprises Miami. We're going to teach you how to break in."

WHAT? Brain fart.

I am so going to Hell, or Iran. Which ever has the most direct flight.


	7. Chapter 7

After my mental brain fart, which seemed to be happening more often, we got down to business.

Apparently, a bunch of blues lines is something called a blueprint, as is "apparently" really easy to understand. Hmpf, bite me.

"I heard that Steph, if you lived out of your head more instead of in it, you would actually get places." Tank explained. The comment kind of stung, but a retort wasn't on the tip of my tongue, and honestly, it wouldn't get me anywhere. "The building is a 5 story ex real estate building with roof access. The roof does have security camera's set up, but less so than the rest of the building. It's harder to get on top of a roof in the first place undetected. That's our best bet, more area's of cover, and Ranger's penthouse will be right underneath your feet."

"Um, hate to break it to you, but how do you get on the roof short of a helicopter? You'd think he would notice that."

"Easy Beautiful, we've come up with one of two plans. One, you parachute in, and hope you hit your mark.-"

"Are you NUTS? Why would I willingly jump out of a perfectly working airplane?"

"For love?"

"Don't push it, what's plan two?"

"You scale the building. None of the windows open, so you have to go for the roof."

"You're lucky it's only 5 stories high. It's an easy climb."

"Lemmie get this straight. You want me to climb a 5 story glass building?"

They both looked at me and nodded.

"Aren't we missing someone?" I asked.

Lester and Tank looked at me confused.

"I see Larry and Moe, but I sure as hell don't see Curly. Maybe he stayed home because he thinks you guys are losing it." They both busted out laughing. I tried to give them the stink eye, but failed, all I got was a twitch, and it was annoying me more.

"It's easy Bombshell. We've already contacted RangeMan Miami and talked to Tony, he's agreed to help us set everything up. Apparently Ranger is making everyone's life hell down there, and he's more than willing to set things straight."

"Go on, I'm listening."

" They will set the ropes up for you, change the angles of the cameras, fix monitor duty so Ranger can't just check in, and they will have a "power failure" at ten minutes after 9 tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow NIGHT!"

"Yup, so pay attention as we go over this again."

"But—b-but I have to pack! What will I wear? Have you seen my hair! OMIGOD! Why didn't you tell me sooner! Here I am going to seduce the Sex God and I look like I have slept with the Mangey Mutt!"

Lester and Tank snickered.

"Oh shut up. You think it's funny now. I'll get even. Don't think I won't. Who do you think I learned "payback's a bitch" from? I'm calling my grandmother..." I faked reaching for the phone.

"Okay okay! Calm down Beautiful, the flight is not until noon tomorrow, Tank and I are going down on business, so we can go over the plan then. We're going to be escorting someone from the Witness Protection Program"

"Who?"

"You, you will be travelling as Mrs. Mark Pardo."

Well, fuck a duck.


End file.
